This article explains my experience with escaping the box my family and friends put me in when I wanted to write books. After considering what they said, I came to the conclusion that I will not be denied doing what I knew in my soul that I had to do.
You need to be the person you want to be and not try to live up to others expectations of you.
Sometimes people try to put us in a box, to be who they want us to be, and they won't let us do what we feel we are destined to do. We have been created for a purpose and we all have a mission here, to fulfill the measure of our creation.
Once you understand who you are and what you should do with your life to bless others, when you know what your creator expects from you, you have to do it. When you are an adult, you are expected to lead your own life and to be responsible human beings and accountable for your actions.
You will never feel happy or satisfied with your life and be the person you want to be, if you are not allowed to live life the way you see fit. People only try to control you when they believe you can't control yourself. When you are not proactive in living your life, others will try to take over. It is only human nature to step in and help people who are unable to care for themselves. People who step in are not evil, they do it because they care about you and don't think you can do it yourself. Remember that when you feel their control.
If it is your own life, and you feel strongly about living it the way you want, then you MUST take control of yourself and your accountability. Only then will others allow you to take back your power.
See I Will Not Be Denied by clicking on this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPD3lyZrwC8,
The videos above show you how people do not want to let you out of the box they have created for you. In my case, I was MOM and I was not allowed to be anything else.
If you have had such an experience with those you care about, you must decide what you want, You need to now if this is the right thing to do for you and your family. If it is, you cannot give it up and cave in to the pressure of others.
You have to be true to yourself and the commitments you've made to yourself. You have to do something every day that keeps you moving in the right direction. If you do not stay motivated with something every day towards fulfilling your goals, then you will appear to not be serious about it or committed to following through with it. This gives others the opportunity to give you a bad time about going after your dreams.
You should not share your goals and dreams with people who cannot understand what you want to do or do not support you. You must not share that part of your life with them, they have not earned the privilage of being in the inner circle of trust.
You have to protect your spirit, your desire and motivation, by not allowing people into your circle of trust who have shown they do not belong there. You are inviting trouble when you have not tested people of their worthiness for trust with that sort of information. They can still be your friends and beloved family members, and you should still value what they provide you, but you cannot share things with them that they will trample upon and not respect.
Be true to yourself and ask me for support or councel if you need it. I will be glad to help you in any way that I can. I offer the first sessions for free so we can see what we need to do to help you. After that, we will work out something that you can afford for future services. Contact me at Judith@JuLynneConsulting.com/ .
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3 comments:
Accepting help
Judith, you bring up another point...when we let impatience take control we forge ahead and skip necessary steps for success. Our foundation becomes weak and subject to failure. It took you 8 revisions before you were willing to accept help. We can't do it alone. And we were not created to do it alone. King Solomon tells is in Proverbs 15:22 that without counsel, our purposes, plans, goals or work will be frustrated, disappointed, or completely stopped. There is power in effective partnering. Enlisting the aid of wise counselors and mentors is critical to achieving success, and achieving it sooner than if we did it alone.
Thank you Judith for your honesty about your impatience and what it cost you. I know that impatience has gotten me into trouble too. Hopefully this information will save someone else from the pitfalls of impatience.
Lidie Gray — Sat, 09/12/2009 - 12:42pm
Accepting Help
Lidie, you are so right. Pride and arrogance keep us from accepting help. When I used another editor instead of a friend whose a professional editor, someone I told to be blunt with me, someone I didn't know, I finally got the information I needed to know.
On the other hand, when I had finally listened to my family and friends, when I finally paid attention to the comments I received from readers, I finally realized that I should break the book into smaller books.
I came to that realization when they said things like, "I only got halfway through the book because there is a lot of information to absorb". I heard that sort of comment many times but said in different ways. Why didn't I catch what they were saying, that I needed to break the book into smaller ones? The obvious answer is that I would not accept help or I would not listen to others. Again, that is pride and ego exhibiting in my refusal to change.
I am grateful for the scripture you gave in your comment. I often use the phrase that "we were not created to do it alone" but I didn't know from where that knowledge came.
I also appreciate your comment "that without counsel, our purposes, plans, goals or work will be frustrated, disappointed, or completely stopped. There is power in effective partnering." I could not have said it better!
Thank you for your comments. Together, perhaps we will help people avoid waisting all the time it took me to acknowledge the need to accept help from others and our Lord as a partner, to listen when people advise us or when they tell us their experience with us and our work, and to accept our need to change.
Judith Sherman — Sat, 09/26/2009 - 3:06pm
It is important to reflect on how to keep appropriate boundaries in your work with clients who may be vulnerable people and how to ensure that you are providing a service which is worthwhile and effective
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